I've been told before that I hold on to the past, but I don't think this rings true. I think that I don't have as much fun as I used to. I am not nearly as creative as I once was. I can't even tell you the last time I wrote a poem or a short story. Adulthood does that to you. We tend to forget about the things that really matter sometimes.
Obviously I have no one to blame for this but myself. I remember that the loss of creativity started soon after I started dating a real jerk of a guy when I was 19. It was a very unhealthy relationship and I felt like I really lost myself after that. I met my husband not long after that relationship ended. Tyrus is one of the most artistic people I know. We have painted and written songs together. We make a great team.
And yet, I have never been as an artistic of a person as I was ten years ago. This has always been in the back of my mind. It really bothers me. Creative/artistic people are very special and unique. I feel like it is a major part of my identity as a human being, which is perhaps why it hurts so much to not feel whole. I am surrounded by such creative people who have done so much with their talent. What have I been doing? I have no idea and this has to change.
Painting, writing, singing, drawing, crocheting, modge-podging, dancing, loving, CREATING. These things are now the most important aspects of my life behind my marriage and the people I hold dearest. I refuse to let negativity, depression, life, fear, doubt, judgment and criticism get in the way of me living my life to the fullest MY WAY.
I am an individual. I am a creative individual. I am a talented, creative, intelligent, compassionate individual. Take it or leave it.
