That moment when you who have the realization that it's time for a bold, life-changing move. Literally.
For the past few months I have been developing a list of activities to do before I turn 30 this November. I came up with some great things I'd like to accomplish, but the list was not the life-changing group of ideas I was looking for. All of the items on "the list" are activities that can be done any day, any time. It's not to say that these are not things I'd like to do after all...I do. I just had this nagging feeling that this was not exactly what my soul was longing for.
Having just returned from the coast, I already longed to return as soon as possible. Thankfully, I have been blessed with a husband who knows how to listen and even has the uncanny ability to pick up key hints, even if the hints are not purposefully being sent out into the atmosphere. Soon after my complaint of our return to reality, The Hubs surprised me with a long weekend back in Seaside, Oregon at a beautiful resort hotel FREE OF COST thanks to a very lovely pharmacist (who happened to own a timeshare at the resort in Seaside) Hubster knows at the hospital where he works! I was of course elated at the thought of our return within a few months to my favorite place on Earth: the beach.
About a month after our return from the previous trip to the coast, as life would have it, events occurred that pushed (and I mean PUSHED!) us into making a major decision to better our lives. A few long conversations with each other later, and the choice was made.
Yes folks, in approximately 1.5 months yours truly and The Great Hambino are
MOVING TO THE OREGON COAST!
You are about as surprised as I was. This move was within our 5-year plan, but never did we imagine it would happen so soon, but things are in place and a plan has been made. We hope you are as excited as we are!
In all honesty, we don't belong in Tacoma. We never have. We've tried to belong; we've tried to fit in. We just don't and that's okay. We belong at the beach. Any beach. But the Oregon coast has amazing beaches that we're very fond of and have talked for so long about moving there.
We will be landing in Tillamook and stay with family for some time while we find work and I get settled in school there. In no time at all we hope to reach our beach life goal by moving to Seaside, where I ultimately hope to work as an LPN in their hospital or many medical offices.
One thing we are most excited for when we are settled is receiving all of you as guests! Who doesn't love a weekend at the beach with free lodging?!
We look forward to this new chapter in our life together in creating an environment that is as peaceful and relaxing as possible, with some hard work on the side (we all know we can't play if we don't work, right?)!
Tuesday, July 29, 2014
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Fear and Loathing It
It's been, ohhh, about 4 months since I've written anything here...This is what I have to say today:
Fear has stopped me from doing a lot of things in my life.
Fear has stopped me from deciding on a career path.
Fear has stopped me from taking the first step of a career path.
Mostly what I fear is failing. I am competitive and afraid of failure. I am not the competitive type that naturally does whatever it takes to succeed. I am the type that fears failure, therefore avoids it. But by fearing failure I have failed myself.
This has basically gotten me nowhere. Yes, I have a good job with great hours that pays a livable wage...and I'm very grateful for it after not having been employed for a looong time due to the economy, like a lot of Americans. But that's a post for a different day. What I mean is that while I am grateful for everything I do have, it is not where I want to be in life. Tyrus and I work very hard, as do most people, for what we have, but we want more. We want successful and fulfilling careers, new(er) car(s) and a modern dwelling. We want to be able to afford vacations out of the Pacific Northwest! We love it, but Europe has been calling our names for years! We want the future!
What all of this boils down to in my mind is this: I am tired of fearing that I will fail. I know that I am intelligent. I know I am capable of many great things. I just have to do what it is I want to do and not look back.
Remember that great TV show, ER, on NBC Thursdays @ 10? I used to watch that show every week for years with my mom. That show along with great stories from my mom and others made me want to be a nurse. As long as I can remember I have wanted to be a nurse.
I know, I know...I change my career path every two weeks. Again, fear plays a part. My greatest fear of being a nurse is NOT needles and blood. Blood has never bothered me and I recently got over my fear of needles when I received a TDap vaccine and had blood drawn. No, my greatest fear of being a nurse is making one simple mistake with a patient which results in injury or DEATH. That really scares me. Having someones life in my hands scares me. If something happens to a patient because of human error, MY error, how can I possibly live with that?! This fear had completely stopped me altogether from pursuing a nursing career. And here I am today.
I realize I have gone back and forth a thousand times about what career I want to have. I'm sure this has been annoying. It has certainly been annoying to me. I have many, many interests and I know I could be successful at any of them.
After having a blindingly obvious epiphany today, I have decide, once and for freaking all, I would really love to be a nurse. Deep down under all that fear and illogical thinking (it is true that someone who is highly logical can be very illogical) I have never stopped wanting to be a nurse. Every career path I have thought about, I have asked myself, "Does this give me the ability to help someone?" and "Will I find it fulfilling?" Some yes, some no. I think the answers to this one are obvious.
My epiphany sort of went something like this:
"You aren't going to get anywhere in life if you don't step outside your comfort zone and challenge yourself."
True.
"You want to be a mother and would do your best to take care of your child. If you know you are able to successful raise a child, you are able to take care of others."
Well, that's a good point.
"You have to stop being afraid of failure. Think of all the people you know who haven't tried because they're afraid or they have no goals. You don't want to be them."
Obviously.
And finally, "Just freaking do it!"
So I did.
I took the first step in the right direction by applying to TCC today. When I am admitted I will then take Step 2. I think that to avoid getting overwhelmed or risking fear I will just continue to take it one step at a time.
I would really love to thank one of my dearest and oldest friends, who is really more of a sister, Adrienne Goldey. It was her decision to become a nurse that, for the last few months, has had me again thinking of going into nursing. So Adrienne...THANK YOU!!!
Regardless if any of you believe I will follow through, I feel very happy and humbled by my epiphany and I plan to see this goal through.
Fear has stopped me from doing a lot of things in my life.
Fear has stopped me from deciding on a career path.
Fear has stopped me from taking the first step of a career path.
Mostly what I fear is failing. I am competitive and afraid of failure. I am not the competitive type that naturally does whatever it takes to succeed. I am the type that fears failure, therefore avoids it. But by fearing failure I have failed myself.
This has basically gotten me nowhere. Yes, I have a good job with great hours that pays a livable wage...and I'm very grateful for it after not having been employed for a looong time due to the economy, like a lot of Americans. But that's a post for a different day. What I mean is that while I am grateful for everything I do have, it is not where I want to be in life. Tyrus and I work very hard, as do most people, for what we have, but we want more. We want successful and fulfilling careers, new(er) car(s) and a modern dwelling. We want to be able to afford vacations out of the Pacific Northwest! We love it, but Europe has been calling our names for years! We want the future!
What all of this boils down to in my mind is this: I am tired of fearing that I will fail. I know that I am intelligent. I know I am capable of many great things. I just have to do what it is I want to do and not look back.
Remember that great TV show, ER, on NBC Thursdays @ 10? I used to watch that show every week for years with my mom. That show along with great stories from my mom and others made me want to be a nurse. As long as I can remember I have wanted to be a nurse.
I know, I know...I change my career path every two weeks. Again, fear plays a part. My greatest fear of being a nurse is NOT needles and blood. Blood has never bothered me and I recently got over my fear of needles when I received a TDap vaccine and had blood drawn. No, my greatest fear of being a nurse is making one simple mistake with a patient which results in injury or DEATH. That really scares me. Having someones life in my hands scares me. If something happens to a patient because of human error, MY error, how can I possibly live with that?! This fear had completely stopped me altogether from pursuing a nursing career. And here I am today.
I realize I have gone back and forth a thousand times about what career I want to have. I'm sure this has been annoying. It has certainly been annoying to me. I have many, many interests and I know I could be successful at any of them.
After having a blindingly obvious epiphany today, I have decide, once and for freaking all, I would really love to be a nurse. Deep down under all that fear and illogical thinking (it is true that someone who is highly logical can be very illogical) I have never stopped wanting to be a nurse. Every career path I have thought about, I have asked myself, "Does this give me the ability to help someone?" and "Will I find it fulfilling?" Some yes, some no. I think the answers to this one are obvious.
My epiphany sort of went something like this:
"You aren't going to get anywhere in life if you don't step outside your comfort zone and challenge yourself."
True.
"You want to be a mother and would do your best to take care of your child. If you know you are able to successful raise a child, you are able to take care of others."
Well, that's a good point.
"You have to stop being afraid of failure. Think of all the people you know who haven't tried because they're afraid or they have no goals. You don't want to be them."
Obviously.
And finally, "Just freaking do it!"
So I did.
I took the first step in the right direction by applying to TCC today. When I am admitted I will then take Step 2. I think that to avoid getting overwhelmed or risking fear I will just continue to take it one step at a time.
I would really love to thank one of my dearest and oldest friends, who is really more of a sister, Adrienne Goldey. It was her decision to become a nurse that, for the last few months, has had me again thinking of going into nursing. So Adrienne...THANK YOU!!!
Regardless if any of you believe I will follow through, I feel very happy and humbled by my epiphany and I plan to see this goal through.
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
For the love of...
Cooking. I love to cook. I like trying new recipes I find online and in books. There is something very gratifying about preparing a delicious meal (or dessert!) and enjoy the very tasty results with pride. Cooking makes me very happy and gives me something to do and look forward to. I haven't done any REAL cooking in quite some time for a variety of reasons, but I'm back baby!
As a finicky eater, a foodie if you will, with a few allergies and a distaste (ha!) for meat of all kinds I find it more inconvenient to eat out at restaurants and I refuse to eat fast food...unless it's Taco Del Mar...because they have fresh ingredients made in-house and almost everything can be made vegan. And their food is frickin' delicious.
Over the years I've learned to cook with fresh ingredients and substitute one thing I don't like or can't eat with something better or with less of a chance of making me sick. Food prices have risen but paychecks basically have remained the same, calling for us fresh-food snobs to rethink ingredients.
These days you can find high-quality frozen foods at stores like Trader Joe's and Metropolitan Market. Recently Tyrus made a dinner consisting of Trader Joe's frozen fried rice with veggies and pan-fried tofu. It's was VERY delicious, only cost about $4 and fed three very hungry people. Do I prefer fresh veggies and fried rice? Of course! But sometimes we have to make budget cuts. If you find great high-quality frozen foods that work for you, it's a great alternative!
Tonight I'll be preparing this recipe for dinner. I may even add vermicelli noodles for a more pho-like experience.
Bon appétit!
As a finicky eater, a foodie if you will, with a few allergies and a distaste (ha!) for meat of all kinds I find it more inconvenient to eat out at restaurants and I refuse to eat fast food...unless it's Taco Del Mar...because they have fresh ingredients made in-house and almost everything can be made vegan. And their food is frickin' delicious.
Over the years I've learned to cook with fresh ingredients and substitute one thing I don't like or can't eat with something better or with less of a chance of making me sick. Food prices have risen but paychecks basically have remained the same, calling for us fresh-food snobs to rethink ingredients.
These days you can find high-quality frozen foods at stores like Trader Joe's and Metropolitan Market. Recently Tyrus made a dinner consisting of Trader Joe's frozen fried rice with veggies and pan-fried tofu. It's was VERY delicious, only cost about $4 and fed three very hungry people. Do I prefer fresh veggies and fried rice? Of course! But sometimes we have to make budget cuts. If you find great high-quality frozen foods that work for you, it's a great alternative!
Tonight I'll be preparing this recipe for dinner. I may even add vermicelli noodles for a more pho-like experience.
Bon appétit!
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
The Season of Giving
Good morning everyone and Merry Christmas! The time is nine o'clock Christmas morning and everyone I hope is in good cheer. It is the season of giving (and receiving) so we should be grateful for what we have and what we can give.
Christmas has become a month-long celebration with good intentions and whether or not you celebrate "the reason for the season", Christmas is also about giving to others. However commercialized the holiday has become, we all can still find it within ourselves to find meaning and make memories.
Whether you buy your gifts, make them, or your gifts come in the form of acts of kindness, it shouldn't matter. We all celebrate in different ways. We're all different and our traditions are different from one another. I have a different goal every year it seems. One year I'll make gifts. The next I'll give gifts of things I have and no longer need like books I think suit people. And another year I'll do the mall thing.To me it depends on my budget and creativity. But I have to say that the gifts I have made in the past seem to have been the most appreciated because they do take a lot of time and more money than you would think.
However you celebrate the holiday season (yes, there IS more than one holiday this time of year), do it with love and kindness. If you cannot go to a shelter or food bank to volunteer this time of year, make it a goal to do so in the new year. Open the door for someone. Or just give a kind smile.
Whatever you do, do it with love and be safe!
Happy Holidays!
Christmas has become a month-long celebration with good intentions and whether or not you celebrate "the reason for the season", Christmas is also about giving to others. However commercialized the holiday has become, we all can still find it within ourselves to find meaning and make memories.
Whether you buy your gifts, make them, or your gifts come in the form of acts of kindness, it shouldn't matter. We all celebrate in different ways. We're all different and our traditions are different from one another. I have a different goal every year it seems. One year I'll make gifts. The next I'll give gifts of things I have and no longer need like books I think suit people. And another year I'll do the mall thing.To me it depends on my budget and creativity. But I have to say that the gifts I have made in the past seem to have been the most appreciated because they do take a lot of time and more money than you would think.
However you celebrate the holiday season (yes, there IS more than one holiday this time of year), do it with love and kindness. If you cannot go to a shelter or food bank to volunteer this time of year, make it a goal to do so in the new year. Open the door for someone. Or just give a kind smile.
Whatever you do, do it with love and be safe!
Happy Holidays!
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
'Tis The Season
No matter your political beliefs, we are all aware that the economy is still hitting people hard. The last few holiday seasons Tyrus and I have forgone getting each other gifts so that we were able to provide gifts for our loved ones. Things are still tight for us, as it is for so many, but we are better off now than we have been in recent years and will in fact be able to get each other Christmas gifts for the first time in 3 years. That being said we do feel blessed to be in a better position than before and will continue to work hard and save money for the spring quarter of school. We may not be where we want to be in life right now, but we really are feeling blessed to have a place to live, steady jobs, and each other.
In the spirit of the season we would like to give something back.
Pumpkin pie. The staple of holiday dinners (in my opinion :) ). I wait all year to eat pumpkin pie. Definitely a highlight for me!
The pie I made for Thanksgiving was an absolute hit with everyone and it went fast! So...I thought we should spread the joy:
We would like to offer a homemade pumpkin pie to someone or a family you know who is down on their luck and could use a bit of holiday cheer. We would like to give pies to people who don't have much money for their holiday dinner, are alone this season, or just need some cheer.
The pumpkin pie filling is homemade with canned pumpkin (NOT pumpkin pie mix), with nutmeg, cinnamon, cloves, and ginger. The crust is a dairy-free pre-made frozen pie crust made with organic and natural ingredients that is honestly the BEST pie crust I've ever had. It is moist and flavorful, not dry and tasteless. These pies taste so much better than any store bought pie I've had. You definitely cannot tell my pumpkin pie is dairy free. ALL INGREDIENTS ARE ORGANIC :)
Due to our budget we are only able to give away 10 pies as this time. The pies will be made the week of December 17 and will be frozen upon delivery/pick-up. Baking instructions will be included.
Please let us know by December 13th via phone, email, or Facebook if there is someone you would like to give a pumpkin pie to.
Happy Holidays!
In the spirit of the season we would like to give something back.
Pumpkin pie. The staple of holiday dinners (in my opinion :) ). I wait all year to eat pumpkin pie. Definitely a highlight for me!
The pie I made for Thanksgiving was an absolute hit with everyone and it went fast! So...I thought we should spread the joy:
We would like to offer a homemade pumpkin pie to someone or a family you know who is down on their luck and could use a bit of holiday cheer. We would like to give pies to people who don't have much money for their holiday dinner, are alone this season, or just need some cheer.
The pumpkin pie filling is homemade with canned pumpkin (NOT pumpkin pie mix), with nutmeg, cinnamon, cloves, and ginger. The crust is a dairy-free pre-made frozen pie crust made with organic and natural ingredients that is honestly the BEST pie crust I've ever had. It is moist and flavorful, not dry and tasteless. These pies taste so much better than any store bought pie I've had. You definitely cannot tell my pumpkin pie is dairy free. ALL INGREDIENTS ARE ORGANIC :)
Due to our budget we are only able to give away 10 pies as this time. The pies will be made the week of December 17 and will be frozen upon delivery/pick-up. Baking instructions will be included.
Please let us know by December 13th via phone, email, or Facebook if there is someone you would like to give a pumpkin pie to.
Happy Holidays!
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Let's get serious about this creativity sh*t...
Last night I was looking through old photos of myself and some friends, circa 2003 or so. There are so many good memories in those photos and a million more laughs. I was 17/18 in many of these photos; young and carefree. Invincible.
I've been told before that I hold on to the past, but I don't think this rings true. I think that I don't have as much fun as I used to. I am not nearly as creative as I once was. I can't even tell you the last time I wrote a poem or a short story. Adulthood does that to you. We tend to forget about the things that really matter sometimes.
Obviously I have no one to blame for this but myself. I remember that the loss of creativity started soon after I started dating a real jerk of a guy when I was 19. It was a very unhealthy relationship and I felt like I really lost myself after that. I met my husband not long after that relationship ended. Tyrus is one of the most artistic people I know. We have painted and written songs together. We make a great team.
And yet, I have never been as an artistic of a person as I was ten years ago. This has always been in the back of my mind. It really bothers me. Creative/artistic people are very special and unique. I feel like it is a major part of my identity as a human being, which is perhaps why it hurts so much to not feel whole. I am surrounded by such creative people who have done so much with their talent. What have I been doing? I have no idea and this has to change.
Painting, writing, singing, drawing, crocheting, modge-podging, dancing, loving, CREATING. These things are now the most important aspects of my life behind my marriage and the people I hold dearest. I refuse to let negativity, depression, life, fear, doubt, judgment and criticism get in the way of me living my life to the fullest MY WAY.
I am an individual. I am a creative individual. I am a talented, creative, intelligent, compassionate individual. Take it or leave it.
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Crossroads
As a person who does my best to improve myself as a good human being, I often reflect on my life, where it's going, and what I think I can do to further improve it. I will always have a long way to go because perfection is not possible. I think of self-improvement as an ongoing project. It can entail a lot of work at times and there is no end in sight, but to me the process is a lot of fun.
There are periods in my life where I feel stuck. Bored. Antsy, if you will. When I sense this feeling of unease approaching I think about why it is I'm feeling this way. What's causing this caged consciousness? What can I do to improve it? What positive aspects can I bring to this roller coaster of life?
At this point I feel like there are numerous roads my life can take. This road could take me here. But THIS road could take me HERE. Then again, Road #3 could take me here. One of my biggest fears is picking a direction to go and it doesn't work out. It doesn't go the way it should have and it all blows up in my face. This is something that has stopped me from going anywhere at all. The result: Stuck. This is my own fault, I know. I am learning slowly but surely that I am the only person holding myself back.
So Readers, how do I know which path, road, direction, what-have-you to take? Is it all chance? Russian Roulette? Do I choose the easiest choice? The most direct? The most challenging? What about the riskiest? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?! If any of you have the secret, please let me in on it...Please?
How can I conquer this fear of failure? I suppose the easy answer is to just throw caution to the wind and go for it. But what if this...what if that...? What if...
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