Quiet on the Outside

I've been feeling very introverted lately, so I apologize for the lack of blog posts as of late. Those of you who know me well know that I take life more seriously than I should, especially for a person my age. I've always been this way and it's probably a trait that will stick with me.

During these times deep thought I tend to think about the world. I reflect on current events and where the future may lead us. I worry that the economy will never improve, and that the country will never be as care-free as I remember it being before September 11, 2001. We have been in a 10-year grieving process.

Our soldiers have been a major topic in my mind lately. The recent movie I just watched, "Brothers", has only strengthened my respect for our soldiers. I can't help but think about how true to life that movie is. The events that occurred in the movie DO happen. We don't hear about them, which I'm not even sure if we should, but they are real.

My dad was a Vietnam veteran. He didn't talk about his experience much, which is understandable. I didn't ask a lot of questions, but sometimes I wish I had...but was it any of my business? He was basically just a kid when he went to war. I will never know what he saw or what he did, but I do know that chapter of his life affected him negatively for the rest of his life. In fact, his time in Vietnam is partially responsible for his death just two and a half years ago.

These have been very scary times in America, and the world for that matter. For the last ten years I haven't watched a plane fly overhead without getting nervous, especially when they are flying low as they so often do (living so close to a military base has it's disadvantages). Public transportation makes me uneasy. Large gatherings make me feel panicky. Unattended bags make me fearful.

Even with all this fear that we live with everyday, I still feel safe. There are heroes protecting us, doing their best to keep us safe.

I feel so terribly sad knowing of all those who have lost their lives to protect us. I feel so sad for the innocent people in the countries we have been at war with that have lost their lives as well.

I know that this country will never be the same again. We are damaged and struggling for air. We cannot afford to live. But we will survive.

These are the types of things I think about when I'm so quiet. Not all the time, but a good portion. I'm a lot like my dad in that I'm an observer. A listener. I take what I see and hear and I process it. I formulate ideas and opinions, and you may never hear them.

I have learned to love this about myself.

Introverts are an interesting people. I'm happy to be one of them.